


Half Way Out of the Dark

by Allonsyx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Romance, Character Death, Child Abuse, Closeted Character, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Smut, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homeless Castiel, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Major Illness, Slow Build, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Socially Awkward Castiel, Teen Angst, post trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-08 23:13:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allonsyx/pseuds/Allonsyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'The light of the full moon seeping through the dark clouds, the sound of rain against metal and concrete. The wind blowing through the trees, the leaves rustling as they sweep across each other in the darkness of the night.' </p><p>Castiel is a young boy who has lived alone on the streets  for months. That is of course until Dean Winchester finds him  in the cold and rainy weather and offers him a place to stay. How can Castiel refuse such an offer? As Castiel finds himself drawn into the life of Dean Winchester, he feels that his life has truly taken a turn for the better but how long will it actually last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End Of The Beginning

 

The light of the full moon seeping through the dark clouds, the sound of rain against metal and concrete. The wind blowing through the trees, the leaves rustling as they sweep across each other in the darkness of the night.

Castiel Novak sat alone, huddled under the small veranda of a shop that he couldn’t name. He’d found his way here only after the moon had invaded the sky and it had been too dark for him to really know where he was going. That’s how it was for him most nights; quiet, cold and a dizzy haze. He didn’t like to remember much. He remembered what was happening at the time, that’s all he needed to know; the present. The past meant nothing, it was just something he couldn’t take back, the future didn’t need to be thought about until it came. Until it was the present, because the present was the only thing that meant anything. The present is what determined the future and became the past.

He could hear the sound of music from inside the store and decided that it was most likely a restaurant or café, but he had no interest in finding out. That was unneeded information, information that wouldn’t serve him in the future, it would too become a part of the past. Forgotten. He pulled his tan trench coat around him more tightly, fighting the cold and the rain that the veranda couldn’t keep away as it was becoming too heavy.

Leaning back against the wall, he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the music in hopes that it would lull him to sleep the way the sound of cars driving over puddles and the sound of crickets in the long, green grass usually did. He had grown used to the sounds that were audible at night, he’d adjusted to them after only a week of living on the streets and it now been 4 months perhaps. He’d lost count.

The sound of music and rain was peaceful, helping him to clear his head of every small event that had occurred today, making room for what would soon become the present. The cold rain water was seeping through his torn jeans and his coat, making him shiver though it wasn’t the coldest weather that he had faced in the last few months. It seemed to get colder with every passing month which lead him to believe that it was leading up to winter or that it was currently winter, which he would much rather, seeing as that meant it couldn’t really get much colder.

Castiel was relatively close to falling asleep, back against the wall of the store, head leaning against a tall, hard pillar like thing and his arms crossed. The sweet music still playing softly in the distance, lulling him to sleep just as he had hoped for and the sweet smell of dust after rain filling his nose, relaxing him further until she drifted off into a sweet, dreamless slumber.

* * *

 

Footfalls, a rustling and darkness.  
That’s what Castiel heard and saw when he awoke.  He couldn’t have been asleep long, considering it was still rather dark out. He wasn’t even sure whether it had gotten any lighter.

“Excuse me,” a soft, male voice sounded from in front of him. Ah, he could see it now; the tall, slender figure of a man. Castiel didn’t answer though. He knew better than to speak to people unless they wished for him to, which they never did, well, at least the people he had met in his life hadn’t. Castiel had spent his childhood alone; locked away in his bedroom. A mattress, a pile of old and worn books, a small lamp with a torn shade and cobwebs. That’s what his bedroom had consisted of. His parents had been abusive and only cared about their image. He had been told more times than he could count, that children should not speak unless spoken to, though he’d soon learnt that that really meant that children should not speak at all so he’d spent most of his life in silence up until the physical and verbal abuse from his father had pushed home over the line and he’d run away, only to end up on the streets in a small, rainy town in Manchester.

“Are you okay?” Ah, Yes, the voice. he’d almost forgotten.

Castiel nodded though he doubted the man could even see him since he could see nothing more than his silhouette. “C’mon, let’s get you out of the cold.” He said quietly as he stepped toward Castiel, his hand reaching out for his but he shied away from his touch, pressing himself further into the shop wall. “I’m not going to hurt you, I want to help. You can’t stay out here in the cold, you’ll catch pneumonia.” He added, gently taking Castiel’s hand and helping him up. “The probability of getting pneumonia is only 25%.” He said quietly, taking the man’s hand with caution. This man could be anyone. “You know, there is no point in getting me out of the cold, there’s nowhere for you to take me. I don’t have a home.”  The man paused for a moment, clearly deciding what he was to do now, he couldn’t take him anywhere. He’d probably just decide to leave Castiel here which he honestly didn’t want. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in so long; he’d almost forgotten how good it felt.  
  
“I’ll give you two options, just choose which one you’d prefer… I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or scared,” He sounded genuinely worried about her but that didn’t sound right to Castiel. No one ever cared, not even his parents. “I can give you some money for a motel room… drive you up there if you’d like. Or I can give you a place to stay. I live in an apartment, it’s small and I really don’t have much but there’s food and well, there’s warmth and _safety_. It beats being out here on the streets.”

Castiel blinked, looking up at him. Why would he care? Why would anyone want to offer him a place to stay? “I-I’d prefer to go with you… if you’re sure that’s okay. I don’t want to be a burden.” He couldn’t pass up the offer. The idea of warmth, food and _company_ was overwhelming.

The drive to the apartment was long but Castiel wasn’t complaining. He had missed warmth so much, he could feel himself drifting off to sleep with his head leaning against the car window. The window of a black, 1967 Chevy Impala… at least that’s what the man had told him it was. _What was his name again? Dan… De…ah, yes. Dean._ Castiel had almost forgotten.

Dean and Castiel had spoken for a while when they had first started driving toward the apartment. Though Dean was honestly the only one who had spoken; Castiel had only listened and mumbled a few small answers when he had to. “You right there, Cas?” _Cas._ That sounded a little funny but he liked it, could probably even get used to it. “I’m fine.” He assured, eyes still closed.

Music and singing.

The majority of the drive consisted of music quietly pouring through the car speakers and the sound of Dean’s voice, singing along quietly to what Dean had said was Led Zeppelin. The music wasn’t too bad, not the kind of music that Castiel was used to hearing while out on the streets but it was nice.

The only music Castiel really heard was the pop music from houses nearby and the soft melodic tunes that drifted from inside small stores. He’d never paid much attention to it though, it clouded his thoughts unless he was trying to get some rest. That’s the only time he had ever really let himself enjoy the tune of music.

The apartment was small. Small but nice and Castiel loved it. He basically threw himself at the couch, cuddling into the seat. He could see Dean properly now. He was tall, his hair was short and dirty blonde. Dean was wearing a black shirt and a dark green coat. His jeans were torn and looked very worn but he was attractive. Castel couldn’t stop himself from staring.  
  
“I uh, there’s only one room and one bed but the couch is comfortable. You can sleep on the couch until I sort something out. I can probably ask my brother for a mattress for a while. He’s coming to visit this weekend so I’ll have him bring it up then. I mean, that’s if you still want to stay of course. I have a little bit of food in the cupboard but I need to buy more, help yourself though. You can stay as long as you need.” Dean shrugged, pulling a bottle of beer from the fridge.

Dean was too kind and Castiel honestly didn’t believe he deserved it. He didn’t say anything though. He didn’t want to lose this. He felt safe and happy for the first time in so long and it felt so wonderful. “Thank you, Dean.” Castiel said with a polite nod, eyes wandering over to the television that rested on a small and rotting wooden table. He’d never really wanted to watch television until now. He’d always been stuck watching the shows that his parents wanted to watch before he’d ran off.  
  
“I’ll go get you some blankets and a pillow.” Dean smiled warmly, walking off to his room. Castiel watched him leave before his eyes wandered to the end of the worn black couch, spotting the television remote. He’d have to ask for Dean’s permission before turning the television on. It was his house after all and Castiel didn’t want to break anything. It wouldn’t be fair.

Dean returned with a small throwover blanket and a pillow in a brown case. “Apparently we’re out of actual blankets but this is better than nothing. Sorry, man.” Dean said with an apologetic smile, heading over to take the remote from the end of the couch.

He took a seat near Castiel’s feet and crossed his legs as he waited for the television to turn on. Castiel cuddled up into the blanket after shrugging his trench coat off. He watched in awe as the television turned on and the image on the screen shifted into a scene from a show.

Castiel and dean ended up watching 3 whole episodes of ‘Star Trek’ before Dean finally decided to go to bed and let Castiel rest. Dean seemed to know a lot about Star Trek. He was able to explain the show in quite a lot of detail and seemed to know most of the character’s names. It was honestly quite impressive.

Castiel watched as Dean turned the television off, looking over at Castiel with a grin. “I’ll see you in the mornin’, Cas,” Dean said before yawning, walking to his room. “Goodnight.”

Castiel smiled gently to himself and rolled onto his side to get comfortable. He closed his eyes and didn’t bother trying to clear his thoughts for once.

_I think I’m going to like it here._


	2. Not Too Close For Comfort

Rumbling. Horrible rumbling and flashes of light.

Castiel jolted awake when the storm started again, thunder ripping through the sky causing Castiel to cower into the couch cushions. Sure, he’d lived on the streets for four whole months and he had faced many storms but thunder and lightning still terrified him.

The storm raged on outside the small apartment and the windows were rattling loudly. Castiel was afraid, so afraid but there was nothing he could do as usual. He had to wait until it stopped.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the blanket over his head so that he couldn’t see the flashes of lightning that lit the dark room. He curled up into a ball and wrapped his arms around his knees before he began humming gently to himself to block out the hungry grumbling sound of the thunder but it wasn’t enough, he could still hear it.

“Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before.”

Castiel began to sing, his voice a little shaky and ragged but he managed to get the words out lud enough for him to block out the thunder.

“Hurt myself again today  
and the worst part is there's no one else to blame.”

He sounded more confident now and he felt at peace. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually sung to himself. He usually just had to endure his fear when a storm came but this felt good. Calming. He almost forgot where he was as he sang, trying his best to remember the lyrics to the song he had heard only days ago while walking.

“Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small and needy  
Warm me up  
and breathe me.”

“Cas?” _Oh._

Castiel froze and silence filled the room. He could hear Dean’s footfalls getting closer to the couch, a hand pulling the throwover blanket down to reveal Castiel’s face, barely visible in the dark, which was good seeing as he could feel the deep blush against his cheeks as he bit down on his lip.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I will be quiet, I am so sorry.” He squeezed his eyes closed again and waited for Dean’s fist to collide with his weak body; Punishment. But it never came. He opened one eye to see Dean standing in front of him with crossed arms. Why hadn’t he hit Castiel? Maybe he had some other kind of punishment in mind, maybe a simple punch wasn’t enough in Dean’s mind.

Dean’s hand rested on Castiel’s shoulder and he flinched away into the back of the couch, body shaking violently. “I-I’m sorry.” He whimpered again.

“Whoa, Cas, I wasn’t… I wouldn’t hurt you. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just heard your singing… you have a beautiful voice.” _Beautiful?_ Castiel didn’t quite understand but he felt a warmness sidling in his chest.

Another roar of thunder shook the windows and Castiel squealed, hands covering his face; a lame attempt at protecting himself. “Easy, Cas, you’re safe.” Dean said, taking a seat beside Castiel on the couch. “It can’t hurt you.” Of course it couldn’t, thunder couldn’t hurt. But lightning could.

“N-no, no. The lightning…” He whispered, cuddling into Dean as his body shook with fear. He felt Dean’s body stiffen before he wrapped an arm around Castiel’s waist and relaxed. “The lightning won’t hurt you either, the odds of you getting struck aren’t very likely. How many people have you heard of that have been electrocuted by lightning? I doubt you’ve heard of more than one.” Two actually, and that was still too many. He didn’t say that though, instead he just shook his head, burying it further into Dean’s chest.

“How about you sing that song again? Will you sing for me, Cas?” Castiel nodded slowly, pulling away only slightly, not wanting to leave the comfort of Dean’s arms just yet.

“O-ouch I have lost myself a-again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere t-to be f-found,” He began, stammering a little but he couldn’t help it. He’d never sung in front of anyone before and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

“I think that I might break  
I've l-lost myself again and I feel unsafe…” Castiel trailed off, burying himself back into Dean’s warm body again, deciding that he really just wanted to sleep now, if he could get back to sleep he could forget the storm.

He could feel Dean gently pushing him off onto the couch and getting up to walk back to his room. “No!” Castiel cried out, clutching at Dean’s arm. “What?” Dean asked in confusion, seeming a little startled which made Castiel feel slightly embarrassed. “I-I don’t want you to go… The storm is still happening. Please don’t leave me.” Dean didn’t answer, only pulled out of Castiel’s grip before walking off to his room. Great. Castiel had fucked up again, annoyed the only person nice enough to give him a place to stay.

HE figured it may be best if he left as soon as the storm had stopped so that he didn’t make Dean angrier or annoyed. It wasn’t fair for him to have to allow Castiel to stay in his home when all he did was cause trouble for Dean.

Castiel’s thoughts were soon interrupted as Dean walked back out from his bedroom with a thick doona and another pillow. “I’ll take the end of the couch, feel free to share the doona, it’s warmer than the throwover blanket.” He admitted with a small smile, visible in the dark, thought it wasn’t exactly very dark anymore, Castiel assumed it was nearing morning.

The two of them managed to settle down comfortably on the couch, curled up on opposite ends wrapped in the doona and throwover blanket together, feet resting against each other. “I’ll see you in the morning, Cas. We’ll go get breakfast or something together, you look like you’re half starved to death. If you get hungry there’s food in the cupboard. Please don’t hesitate to take something if you want it.”

“I won’t. Goodnight, Dean.” Castiel whispered, shifting a little closer to Dean with a content and tired smile.

Castiel couldn’t believe this was happening, he felt so extraordinarily happy. He felt _alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little shorter than I had hoped for but I'm currently writing multiple fics and it's a little time consuming so I don't have a lot of time to spend on chapters or editing! The song that Castiel is singing is 'Breathe Me' by Sia. You can find it on itunes and/or youtube if you're interested in hearing it.


	3. Maybe Good Things Happen

Castiel awoke to find himself shoved into the back of the couch, Dean cuddling into his side with his arm wrapped tightly around his waist. He squirmed out of Dean’s grasp and pulled himself off of the couch and headed for the kitchen. Breakfast. He’d missed eating food in the mornings… Honestly, he’d missed eating decent food in general. He was used to eating the little food that he could manage to get from soup bus’ and charity centres and occasionally, things that he found in bins.

Castiel quietly pulled open the refrigerator and pursed his lips, eyes rolling over the food. There wasn’t much in the fridge but to Castiel it was quite a lot. He hadn’t really seen this much food available to him his whole life.

He didn’t take much from the fridge in the end, not wanting to eat too much of Dean’s food seeing as he’d had to pay for it all. He’d taken an apple and a small tub of yogurt before making his way back to the couch.

Castiel snuggled back into Dean’s side carefully, not wanting to wake him up, and took a bite out of the apple. He felt happy… more than happy. He hadn’t felt this way for so long and now he was eating decent food for the first time in months. He’d miss this though. He knew it was only a matter of time before Dean told him he couldn’t stay and Castiel would be back to wandering the streets though he wasn’t complaining. Having a place to stay, even just for a little while, was a godsend and it gave him hope for the future.

“Morning, Cas.” Dean groaned, opening his eyes but he quickly pulled away from Castiel, seeming a little awkward. Dean didn’t like cuddling. “Personal space, Cas… You can’t just sit that close, you’re basically on top of me.” Oh, that made sense. “Oh good, you got some food.” Dean said with a smile. “There’s more in the cupboard if you’re still hungry, just help yourself to whatever.”

Castiel finished his apple and the yogurt but didn’t go back for more food, he’d eaten enough for now. “I was going to take you out for breakfast but I don’t have much money at the moment to be honest, work’s a little tough at the moment, we’re not getting many customers.” Dean admitted and Castiel gave a nod, looking up at Dean who was standing near the kitchen. “We’ll go out for dinner or something some time though, okay? Might even just order a pizza. It depends on what happens with work though.” Dinner, yes that sounded nice. Castiel wasn’t going to complain; He hadn’t been to a restaurant or had pizza in his entire life, he had only really eaten the leftovers when he’d lived with his parents.

Dean left the room for a few moments before returning to the living area, walking over to Castiel and placing a pile of clothing beside him. “They’ll be a little big… I’ll just... go...” He gestured toward his bedroom awkwardly before hurrying off to give Castiel some privacy.

Castiel found himself in a pair of worn jeans that were far too big, a green t-shirt and a dark flannel shirt that had to be rolled up at the sleeves so that he could grab things with his hands.  Dean came out of his room when Castiel called out to him, telling him that he was dressed. “Wow… You look good. I mean, y’know… better than before.” Was that a compliment? Castiel’s eyes narrowed in confusion and he looked down at himself. “Uh, thank you.” He managed to say before taking a seat on the couch again. “Do you have plans for today?” He was a little worried about what he’d have to do when Dean was out, he didn’t want to be a pest and he wasn’t sure if Dean would feel comfortable leaving Castiel alone in his home while he was out. Castiel was still basically a stranger and he could do anything when dean was out, but he wouldn’t of course. Castiel wasn’t like that.

“Well, I was hoping we could actually get to know each other. Have you ever seen The Lord of the Rings?” Castiel tilted his head to the side, a little confused as to what Dean was talking about. Perhaps it was a television show or a movie. “I’m just gonna take that as a no. I think you’d like it, it’s such a good movie. There’s a series of books too, maybe I could get Sam to lend them to you. They’re a little difficult to read but it’s worth it. They’re so much better than the movies.”

“I’d like that.” Castiel said simply with a smile, looking up at Dean. “We can watch the movies this afternoon, I think my brother is coming over shortly so I’ll ask him to bring the books. I think it’d be nice to watch the movies with Sam and Jess when they get here. But until then maybe we can go for a walk?” This was all too much, Dean actually wanted to do things with Castiel. He wanted to take him places and watch movies with him… but why? Why would anyone want to do that for someone they hardly even knew? Maybe Dean just felt sorry for him. The thought of Dean only doing things for Castiel because he felt sorry for him, kinda hurt. Castiel didn’t like it. He wanted Dean to talk to him and take him places because _he wanted_ to, because he liked doing things with Castiel, not just because Castiel was homeless and had nothing.

“A walk? Where would we go?” Castiel asked curiously, tilting his head to the side. “Anywhere you’d like. There’s a lake not far from here, it’s in the dog park. It’s stopped raining for now so now is the best time for us to leave… if you’d like we could take a some food and a blanket… we could have a picnic.” Yes, that sounded lovely. Castiel had never really had time to stop at lakes and parks, the idea of actually going somewhere nice had never actually crossed his mind. He’d just assumed he couldn’t have nice things anymore.

“Yeah, that would be lovely. Would you like help with packing food? We’ll probably need a backpack or something though.” Castiel smiled, heading toward the kitchen. “Take whatever you want to bring out of the fridge or the cupboard and set it down near the door. I’ll get us a bag and a blanket.” Dean called back to him and Castiel complied, taking out the food that he thought would be suitable to take and placing it at the door of the kitchen. He found a loaf of bread and an idea shot through his head. He could make sandwiches for him and Dean. He’d seen the tomatoes and lettuce in the bottom of the fridge and there was leftover chicken in a bag at the back.

He placed the bread on the counter and placed a small (almost empty) tub of butter beside it before heading back over to the fridge to take out the tomatoes and lettuce. “What are you doing?” Dean’s voice came from the door and Castiel turned to look at him. “Sandwiches seemed like a good idea.” He shrugged, feeling a little bad. Perhaps Dean didn’t want Cas making food… It hadn’t been part of the idea. “Great! What are we going to put in them? I don’t really have much.” Dean was okay with this? He’d thought it was ‘great’… perhaps Castiel was overthinking things. Maybe Dean was ahppy to have Castiel here and to have him do things. “I was thinking chicken and salad… there was lettuce and tomatoes in the fridge and I found the leftover chicken.” Dean nodded, pulling a knife out from the top drawer. “I’ll cut the lettuce and the tomatoes and you can put them into the sandwiches, alright?” That was a good idea, and it would be a lot easier and less time consuming anyway. “Alright.” Castiel said with a small nod and began spreading the butter across the bread as Dean Cut the lettuce. Today would be amazing, Castiel could sense it.


End file.
